For All the Strong People Who Are Feeling Faint…

This post is for all the strong people out there and for those who surround them. I hope this touches your heart.

You see, being a strong person is great. It means you are a survivor, a victor, an overcomer. Many strong people are alone but they are hardly ever lonely because they are either planning the next big thing or fighting a new goliath to reach the next level. Many strong people tend to do life alone and no one seems to understand why that is.

The problem is people who surround strong people expect nothing less than strength from them. They expect strong people to be ‘on’ all the time, abuzz with bible verses and inspirational quotes. They expect strong people to always have something to pour out while they eagerly receive. They don’t ever expect strong people to faint or even feel faint.

But here is a fact: Strong people faint many times.

Strong people feel situations like you do. They might know all the bible verses, but when it seems like the doors of life are closing in, strong people break down and cry too. It is at times like this that they need words of encouragement, love, hugs, a treat, no pity parties but an outlet to let out the pain they feel and an encouraging verse to strengthen their hearts after they have emptied their hearts of hovering depression.

But what do people around them do instead?

They judge. They mock. They castigate them for daring to faint.

“Shouldn’t you be the strong one here?” “If you are weak, how can we be strong?” “I don’t believe you are saying things like this. You should know better!” “Wow…. and you say you believe in God?”

It is no surprise that strong people learn to shut up. They struggle with vulnerability. Even in relationships, they struggle to say “I don’t really have this on lockdown because I don’t feel equipped to handle it.” They are scared to say “I feel like God is not coming through for me. Everything is such a mess.”

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They struggle to bare their emotions with anyone, including their partners. From my observation, I have noticed that the partners of many strong people tend to leave them to handle life alone. Any attempt at expressing vulnerability is met with a barrage of inspirational quotes and Bible verses that mean nothing to a heart that just wants to empty itself of the pain of struggle. How can these quotes and verses find room in a heart that is already filled with despondency and doubt? Oh yes! Strong people get despondent too. They doubt their journey too. They wonder about their process too. They cry. They faint. And people let them do it all alone. People make them feel guilty for feeling faint, and question if they truly serve God.

Dear strong person, the fact that you feel faint after holding on for so long is nothing to feel guilty for. David, a man after God’s heart, felt faint many times (read the psalms and take note of this). I imagine that Joseph through his travails lost hope many times. People may desire you to be a robot so they don’t have to invest any human emotions in your wellbeing, but you are not a robot. You are human. Sometimes the weight will be too heavy. Sometimes your heart will break over the smallest things. It is not because you are weak or because you lack faith, but because you are human and humans get tired. Sometimes you will seek encouragement or an outlet and be met with judgment and concealed mockery. Whatever it is, do not stop being human.

Did you expect me to say “do not stop being strong”? How can I say that when I know exactly how dark some days can be? I know how quickly courage can become cowardice, how quickly faith can turn to fear, how frustration can creep in on you and make you question your life.

I get it. Perhaps many people don’t. But I get it. Being strong can be a lonely journey. But let’s learn a lesson from David. Everytime his spirit felt faint, his go-to person was God. He cried to God, talked to God, expressed himself to God. God is the best listener. His ears are always open and his eyes never close in sleep. Yes, we all wish for people to understand those dark days without mockery or judgment, but many of them won’t. Those who do will stand by and get you back on your feet. They will give you a pep talk that will lighten your heart, or they will buy you three flavours of ice cream in one cone just to show that everything can work together for your good. If you are surrounded by these people who get the gist of your concealed fragility and your human-ness, keep them close. They are needed for your journey. If you are surrounded by those who castigate your fainting spells because ‘they’ve been through worse’ or ‘you are acting non-christian’ by fainting’, love them but never faint in their presence.

Take it to God. It is him afterall who gives you strength. XOXO

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Understand the Seasons of Your Life

Hey you! What season of life are you in? Are you doing what is required of the season! Check out this five-minute video from my YouTube channel regarding two important seasons of life we must understand.

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Nicki Minaj On A Gospel Track?

This has been a debate for weeks! Check out my take on it

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What River Rafting Taught Me About Relationships

If you follow me on Instagram, you already know I spent last weekend at the Girl Ignite Africa Summit where I was a mentor with seven other amazing individuals. We all got along from the moment we met and spent so much time laughing together, you would have sworn we’ve known each other for years. This connection and positive energy gave us so much optimism, we decided at some point during the weekend to go river rafting.

Now if you know me personally, you already know that I have an irrational fear of being inside water, especially if my feet can’t touch the ground. You might also know that when I am unsure of something I am about to do, I get all the information I can about it, just to make sure I don’t fail. Yes, I took that whole “Be prepared” mantra from my High School Girls Scouts pretty seriously.

So, before I agreed to go river rafting, I already had all the information I needed. I’d never paddled in a bathtub, not to mention a boat, but I was ready to put everything I learned through observation to practice. Afterall, I learned many other things through observation – driving, cooking, playing volleyball…somewhere in my head, the rules of lawn tennis lay dormant and will be awoken very soon. I digress.

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Four of us got into the raft – four ladies who were super-excited and who got along well the entire weekend. The guys by the shore told us “Get in, it’s easy” and so we got in. The raft was pushed into the water, and the task to move in a desired direction fell on our shoulders. We were alone and we had to paddle. And that was when we realized this was no easy task. Some of us believed we had to paddle backwards to move forward while others thought the opposite. Some of us paddled stronger than others, making the raft turn around in circles over and over again (I blame the river current partly for that one). And I believe some of us were so obsessed with making sure everything ran smoothly, that we could not help but speak loudly and tell everyone what to do.

But that was not the only problem we faced. As we waddled on the river, speaking at the top of our voices, trying to figure things out, those on the shore of the river kept yelling out instructions. “Paddle backwards!” “Count to three and paddle together!” “Move the raft forward!” “Turn around”…. The instructions we did not get before we left the shore were now being released in dozens of screams. Mixed with the cacophony of our own voices, we were soon stuck and frustrated, sitting on a raft in the middle of a river, rather unhappy with the fact that we could not hear each other or figure out how to move in the direction we desired.

And in the midst of all that, I had an epiphany that made me laugh.

 Isn’t this how relationships work?

In the beginning, it is so great to connect with a person who just gets you, makes you laugh and thinks you are the brightest, most amazing person ever. And the observers of this chemistry will very often encourage both of you to get into the boat. “He is such a sweet young man, I have no doubt he will treat you with dignity, respect, and love.” “She is such a loving young girl. I have no doubt she will make you happy”. And excitedly, we get into the boat, believing that chemistry is all that is required to row the boat forward. That’s until we get the shock of our lives when we realize there’s that little factor called communication.

downloadI guess you’re thinking “Oh please communication is easy”. Well, I used to think so too until I found myself sitting in that raft, trying to just paddle back to shore so I could get out and mourn our failure. And then it dawned on me… Communication is easy when you are not in a difficult, sticky, or in our case, a wet, lost situation. You cannot claim to be an excellent communicator if you have only been in rosy situations where you did not have to make an effort to communicate. You cannot claim to be an excellent communicator if you pay more attention to those screaming instructions from the shore than you do to the person you are in the boat with.

This is perhaps the real reason many relationships crash when they face difficulty. Sometimes, in the rocky phases of our relationships, we pay a lot of attention to what others have to say based on their own personal experiences. We trust the perceptions others have of our partners more than we trust our own perceptions. We trust the biased opinions others have of our situation rather than listen to the person we are in the boat with. We spend more time communicating with the outside world than we spend relating with the person in the ship. This applies not just to romantic relationships but also to our relationship with God but this is a post for another day). We tend to speak more to others about our situation and our partners than we speak to our partners. And maybe sometimes, we speak to our partners, but we do this so loudly, that we deafen them with our ‘megaphonorious’ (this is not a word) opinions.

Sometimes, our over-zealous optimism tends to ruin our relationships more than build them. Many of us go into relationships with pre-conceived notions of how they should work. We believe relationships have a universal framework they are based on, and we go in with the notion that the person we are with knows how the framework is structured. We don’t realize that while we may have a framework in mind, we must never forget that the person we are with is not a robot who responds to the buttons we push. That person is human with a different perception of relationships. And unless we let them be themselves, we will never move the ship of relation forward. Like we were going around in circles on that river, relationships where expectations are based on pre-conceived notions rather than an in-depth understanding of individual qualities, expectations, and perceptions, often end up going around in circles till one person gets tired of the ‘not-so-merry-go-round’ and decides to leave the boat.

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But leaving is not the answer to communication and perception problems. I know we live in an age where people cut other people off the moment those people piss them off because they are on some “I don’t allow negativity in my space”. Honeypie, a person who disagrees with you without subjugating you or belittling your dreams is not negative. You are just bad at communicating. Rather than leave, learn the skill of effective communication.

That was another epiphany that hit me as I fought the desire to just get back to shore and leave the boat. I had no right to leave. The fact that my over-zealous optimism was not working, was not enough reason to quit. I had to take deep breaths and listen to what the others in the boat thought. I had to communicate what I knew in a different manner. I had to take what I could from the shore and ignore what was not necessary. Most importantly, I had to realize that it was not about me. It was about me AND the people in the boat with me. It was about their expectations, understanding their intentions and realizing that they had the same goal I did – rowing the boat forward.

We cannot row relationships on our own, no matter how efficient we are. We cannot let our over-zealous optimism and over-efficiency make others seem inadequate. We cannot let a little frustration push us into giving up. Sometimes, all we really need to do in those rocky times is to breathe, shut up, listen to what the other person has to say, and ensure that when we do share what we know, we share it in a manner that is helpful, constructive and encouraging.

With this in mind, we finally rowed the boat forward and it was great to have that victory and learn that lesson. Below is a picture of us as we arrived back at shore, happy, ‘unfrustrated’ (this again is not a word) and educated in what I now believe is a communication masterclass masked as a fun activity.

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 Have you done any activity that taught you lessons in communication? Please share.

XOXO

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Perhaps This Is Why Some Marriages Break Down

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Source: The Daily Beast

Maybe….just maybe… marriages break down for one simple reason no one is paying attention to.

 

I had an interesting epiphany as I conversed with a friend last night. It was not a Eureka! moment, nor did the word Voila! come to heart. It was a theory that formed as the conversation progressed, highlighting what I believe may be the reason marriages go from “I can’t get enough of you” to “It feels like we just live together”.

In this age of information, there are so many ideologies and notions about marriage that are passed on to people via all information platforms, especially social media. If you are an African woman, the list might be along the lines of:

  • Submit to your husband at all times
  • Learn the art of silence
  • Know his favourite meal and cook it all the time
  • Learn the best sex moves you can and impress him every time
  • Wash his clothes – it’s a sign of love (Just in case you have been looking for the recipe to keep a traditional man happy, this is it).

The list for men is pretty short

  • Provide (Yep that about sums it up. You want to be a man now, don’t you?)

But there are no guarantees that all of these things will be sufficient to keep your marriage afloat. As a matter of fact, many of these marriages which are built on efficiency still somehow find a way to fall apart. And of course, many of us these days are so disappointed in the institution, we are beginning to view it as a burden. But what if we start to do some things differently?

You see, in my many years of relating with people and being a ‘life coach’ for romantic relationships (I should get that business card printed now), I have learned one very important lesson.

It is not your efficiency in the fulfilment of your ‘expected obligations’ that keeps your partner happy, interested or committed.

If it was that, then so many marriages will be happy considering the Voltron mode many women assume once the ring touches the finger. It is not about how much you get done or how well you get everything done. It is not about how early you rise in the morning to ‘do something around the house’ or how dinner is ready at 6pm everyday. It is not about how you sort out the bills or get the children ready with little or no help. It is not about how skilled you are at ironing your husband’s shirts or how well you have mastered the art of handwashing his pocket squares.

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These are all activities that keep you busy and for some, come with the territory of marriage. But maybe, just maybe these activities keep you so busy you ignore the most important thing you should be doing.

You stop learning about your partner.

We all hear of the couples who drift apart and settle for divorce in the end. We see those who live like flatmates even though they try to present rosy romance on Instagram. We know them, we’ve heard their stories. Yet, for some reason my brain cannot grasp, we repeat their patterns, assuming erroneously that Sally at the office was the reason hubby left or Ben the gardener was the reason Mrs Simpson no longer found pleasure in her husband.

I’ll tell you my theory: Maybe Sally at the office was paying hubby so much attention and learning his new interests that he felt like his dreams were valid again. Perhaps, Ben the gardener noticed the new hairdo every week and the change of nail colour that made Mrs. Simpson feel visible again.

Perhaps, people are too busy trying to efficiently run their marriages like an operations managers runs a fleet of deliveries, that they forget to communicate with the person who makes the marriage.. (I mean, you can’t exactly be in a marriage with yourself now, can you?).

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Perhaps people are too tired from the 101% level efficiency they have to be on, that they forget to sit and crack jokes with their partners, listen to new music, try out food, and learn a new dance together. Perhaps people just get so involved with the symbol of the marriage, they forget the substance of it – a relationship – a ship where two people should relate. Sure, the ambiance in the ship is not always endearing but perhaps, there will be more days of love than days of heated words. But even heated words show some form of relationship, and they definitely beat days of silence- not silence from anger or pain, but silence because the fire has fizzled out and no one is willing to light another match.

I put it to you that this efficiency mode of running your marriage is not even for the survival of your marriage. Deep down, it’s for your ego. You view marriage as a cotton field and you want to be the best cotton picker who always exceeds the quota for the day. You want to say you earned it, and pride yourself as you tell people it’s hard work to be married and oh well, you just know how to keep it together. You focus so much on doing the work that you forget to relate with your partner.

So the point? You are more likely to keep your marriage alive if you don’t get up in the efficiency of maintaining the symbol more than you get caught up in discovering more about your partner and relating endearingly.

Advice: Know you can’t do everything. What technology can do, let it. What money can sort out, let it. What a third party can do, let them. Get excited about spending quality time with your partner and discovering more about them. Take every chance you get to peel another layer of partner and marvel at the pleasant surprise (well, not all the time) you will find. XOXO

 

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Are You Worried You Might Never Get Married?

You need to stop letting worry steal your joy. In this video, I share simple tips to help you enjoy your singlehood as a lady. Please share with friends and hit the subscribe button on my YouTube channel 😉

The channel name is Demi Fayemiwo or you can just click here

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How To Beat Emotional Abusers At Their Game

If there is one life code you should know like the back of your hand, it is how to beat emotional and psychological abusers at their own game. I did a video on the cycle of abuse, and how you can spot an abuser before they get to you.  You can check it out here. By understanding the cycle of abuse, it is easy to spot an abuser before they abuse you. And if you are able to spot a potential abuser, you can easily beat them at their own game. In this post, I will give you a  few simple tips to help you understand abusers better and beat them at their own game.

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The disclaimer here is that these tips may not work 100% of the time especially if you have been in an abusive relationship for a while. But they are guaranteed to work if the relationship is still in its early phases and you can already spot the signs of abuse. They have worked for me a few times, so take note. They are really easy and are based on the premise of self-control. Beating emotional and psychological abusers at their own game is like undoing every move they make on a chess board.

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The question to always ask yourself is: Are you a pawn or a queen? The best part is you can choose what you want to be

#1 Abusers are not as confident as they come across. More often than not, the reason abusers are successful in abusing you is that you are unable to spot their fake confidence. If you have watched the video (link above), you will understand why. They literally bombard you with so many compliments at the beginning, such that you can’t help but swoon over them. Well, don’t get carried away with swooning. Pay attention. Watch out for snide comments about the success of others. Listen to what excites them – the success or the brokenness of others? How do they react when someone they perceive as better than they are steps on to the stage?(Note: This person could be your friend, colleague, relative etc. It could even be you in certain circumstances). If you watch closely enough, you will see an abuser cower slightly when they perceive someone stronger is in your life. Then they will immediately follow up with a barrage of snide comments that are intended to downplay the achievements or persona of the other person. At this point, smile and do nothing. 

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Yes, you read right. Don’t stand up to defend your friend, relative or colleague. Hey, the comments may even be directed at you, but you don’t need to let your hair loose just yet. This is a game of poker. You simply cannot reveal what you have. This principle is called “stooping to conquer”.

#2 Once the abuser believes that you are easy prey and the time to walk all over you has arrived, he/she will begin to poke at your identity and the things that they once complimented you for. Remember when they called you “intelligent and beautiful”, you will suddenly become “dull with ashy skin and breakouts”. Remember when they said your sense of style was on fleek? You will suddenly become “cheap and slutty”. Now, this is where many people get confused. They assume silence is the answer to these thinly veiled insults. But nah… Surely you don’t want to lose your cool at this point but you also don’t want to keep quiet. What you want to do is destabilize the abuser by simply saying…”I am surprised you feel this way about my…(sense of style, intelligence, job…etc). You said just last week that you were impressed by it.”

Now at the point, the abuser will look very confused and try to understand what you are doing. They will immediately realize that you have been paying attention all this while, and will reprogram the strategy – they will either skip to the next phase which is to take unveiled pokes at your identity by comparing you with other people or their exes, or they will revert back to the compliment stage where they distract you with exaggerated notions of yourself that you need not believe. Do not fall for the latter and if they proceed to the next stage, here is what you do.

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Abusers know comparison can break your spirit 

#3 Abusers know that comparison is what breaks a person’s spirit. Being told that you are not as good as your friend, your colleague or even your partner’s ex can have you in mental hell for some time. So they use this tactic very carefully. They can make a passing comment about how Sally cooked spaghetti better than you do, and from there, it graduates to outright statements like “Nelson is a better provider than your broke ass”. Now the abuser at this point is looking for emotion. The abuser wants you to lash out at the comparison and bring hell up from the darkest abyss of your soul. And I bet you, you will want to rouse all the madness within yourself in response. But take deep breaths because this is what breaks the relationship.

Look impressed. Yep. You read that right. Look impressed as your abuser makes the comparisons. “I should call Sally and ask her for that Spaghetti recipe” or “Wow! That Nelson must have been quite the guy. Why did y’all break up?”

This will throw your abuser off course completely and the confusion you will see on his/her face will be absolutely laughable. Don’t laugh. The situation might get volatile. Simply finish whatever you were busy with, pick up every last thing you own if you are not in your home and leave as amicably as possible.

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The abuser will at this point go back to the drawing board, ready to either restart the process or terminate the relationship. Irrespective of the decision they make, you have ONLY ONE option – delete their details, block them completely and act like you’ve been hit with the spell, Obliviate where they are concerned.

Then pour yourself a glass of wine and pat yourself on the back as you say to yourself “You’re doing great sweetie”.

XOXO.

P.S: this post stayed in my drafts list for two and a half years. I dated an emotional abuser and I conquered. I hope you do too!

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This Is How You Are Unknowingly Negative About Your Life

As you may already know, I started a vlog a few months ago. I put some of my posts in videos on my YouTube channel. Please watch and share with friends. Don’t forget to subscribe as well! XOXO

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Don’t Allow These Five People Into Your Life

No one wants to go through life feeling paranoid and assessing people every second. Unfortunately, it is a cross we all must bear. The people you allow into your life can either make you be at peace with yourself, or they can make you question yourself endlessly. Of course, it is difficult to box all of these people into five simple categories, but I believe being able to identify these basic five can save you from  experiencing the advanced stages of the emotional whirlwind they carry with them

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 #1 The Blameless ones: We’ve all met them – those who refuse to take any responsibility whatsoever for friendships or relationships that have gone awry. They sit and tell about what X did and what Y said, but conveniently forget what role they played. These are the people you get into a relationship with and immediately begin to regret it. These are people who never admit they are wrong but will instead insist that their intentions are noble, hence, even though their actions hurt, they cannot accept any kind of blame. I could go on and on about them, but let me rather tell you the impact they could have on you. Depending on the dynamics of your relationship, if in some way they have managed to ingratiate themselves to you, you will find yourself apologising for every single thing. You may one day find yourself apologising for breathing! Save yourself the strain and just run.

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#2 The Loud-mouthed informant: There is usually that one person in every group dynamic who knows something about everyone else. That person who comes over to your crib and tells you what everyone else is dealing with, who the joker of the group is, whose boyfriend has two penises and whose breasts have gone from firm oranges to flaccid cucumbers. This person will often set his/her eyes on you when you are the new person in the group, and trust me when I say a lot of wisdom is required here. The loud-mouthed informant can easily get you into an attitude of gossip where you find yourself taking sides in an imaginary battle, and taking ownership of POVs that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Pause. Breathe. Change the subject every single time. Don’t volunteer any personal information. Don’t offer an opinion on any negative bit of information regarding anyone else. Why? The loud-mouthed informant has two things you may not be able to sustain in the long run – time to go around learning everyone’s business and of course broadcasting them, and the ability to turn the tables on you should hell break loose. My advice? Hear no evil. Make it clear you are not interested. And if you really want to piss off the loud-mouthed informant, sympathize with the negative stories. This shows you are on a different wavelength. Oh! Another name for these people? GOSSIPS

#3 The Deluded ones: I have found over the years that these people are more common than we like to admit. I met one recently and I found myself thinking ‘Do I have a stamp on my forehead that recognizes the crazy in these people and pulls them toward me?’ Fortunately for me, I have learned that the delusion of grandeur is a craft many people have mastered. They attempt to approach every friendship or relationship from an elevated point of view of … wait for it… themselves. They assume that they are better than you are, smarter, more interesting, more successful. They assume in the weirdest way that they are doing you a favor by being a part of your life. They will name-drop as often as they can, and tell you about the important things they do and have. They will pay you compliments you know are not true and will explain anything they perceive as a fault in themselves before you even recognize the fault (I can write a whole book about these people).

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But when reality hits that you have more going for you than they have going for themselves, they try to ingratiate themselves towards you. They start to offer you things that can help you ‘be better’ and ‘do better’. ISSA TRAP! Don’t even fall for it. You need to shatter their illusion by assertively declining. You should, however, be prepared for some backlash. When a deluded person finds it hard to crack you, they will pull down your image if they can. They will rather have people believe you are not good enough for them than admit that you saw straight through their BS and stopped them in their tracks. The delusion of grandeur runs deep guys. Just don’t get entangled in it.

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#4 The ‘All-eyes-on-me’ buddies: Now these people are really something. Have you ever had a friend who wanted you to be successful…. but not so successful that you end up better off than they are? I can them the contraceptive buddies. These are people who stick around in your life and appear to encourage you. However, the moment you share a vision or a dream with them, they abort it with their very glossy presentation about how many things could go wrong. If that does not work, they tell you not to get your hopes up too much. Afterall, life is unpredictable. They will support your dreams if they are smaller than theirs, but will never support a dream that will catapult you to a height they perceive they cannot reach. These buddies are not out to harm you, but they will never let anything grow in you. I don’t even need to go into details here. JUST RUN.

#5 The Frozen: I have learned recently that no matter how great you are at something, or how well you are doing, there are people who will not clap for you out loud, nor will they ever pay you a compliment out loud. They will rather burst into tiny feathers than say “Hey! You are doing so well”. It is as though they are frozen. They will rather point out everything you are doing wrong (no matter how insignificant they are) than tell you everything you are doing right. And if they cannot find anything you are doing wrong, they will manufacture something (It does not take long; the factories are in their heads). They will look for something that dims your shine and makes you feel insignificant. Avoid these people, especially when you are feeling down and out. Avoid them when you are on top of your game, or on your way uphill. They will never see anything good in any step you take. Don’t waste your energy. Preserve it for pursuing your success whether they clap or not.

Do check out my YouTube channel. Search Demi Fayemiwo on YouTube

XOXO

 

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This Feminism Nonsense

Feminism is just absolute nonsense! Really now! Look at how it has altered the dynamics of society, making women think they own the place and call the shots when clearly this world was built for men and men alone. This feminism is an unnecessary revolution staged to destroy what actually works in society to create a system where roles have been changed, slaves have become masters and life has become hell for men. Women no longer want to cook for their husbands because of feminism. Women no longer want to be bothered with house chores because of feminism. Women now want equal pay (like they have the same responsibilities as men). Women want to be respected like men (like seriously? Did Sarah not call Abraham Lord?)

Of course, men are retaliating; men no longer pick up the bill on dates they invite women to because well… she’s a feminist. If she wants equal rights, she should pay the bill. Men can no longer tell their wives what she can or cannot do with her life. They can no longer decide if she gets to study further or gets to keep her childhood friend. Their authority in their homes has been undermined because of this feminism nonsense. Women no longer want to submit; they don’t want to apologize when their men cheat; they don’t even ask what they did wrong that led him to cheat and try to fix things. They have these groups like FIN on Facebook that provide support and improve their self-esteem. This feminism nonsense has made women too strong! So strong that men no longer find them appealing, and have to now subject potential spouses to interrogations aimed at testing their aversion or adherence to submission. It has become a necessity to screen submissiveness, no thanks to this feminism nonsense.

This feminism nonsense has come to erode the hearts of impressionable young women who do not understand the need to be weak and vulnerable so they can be appealing to the men who are available. These women think they deserve better because this feminism nonsense said so.

Women now want to negotiate equal pay at work because feminism said so; they have no respect for men who are psychologically, emotionally and physically abusive because of this feminism. Women now speak up, they meet up, they hold their heads up because feminism said so. Can this feminism nonsense just die a natural death like du-rags and over-sized jeans did? (Or are those not really dead? Lord help us!

LOL.

Of course, these views are not my own. These are the views of many people out there who have absolutely no idea what feminism is or how it came about or even why it is necessary for society. There are interestingly many people out there who still believe the burden of keeping society falls on women and I bet if you are one of them, you just got disappointed reading this paragraph. HEHEHE. Sorry, not sorry.

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