I spent the next day at work pissed off at everyone for no reason. Okay, I had a reason. I had been stood up by some idiotic, etiquette-less, disrespectful nincompoop! *HISS*.
I didn’t have much to do so I hid in my cubicle and chatted with my friends on whatsapp. I have two close friends; Thato and Amanda. Thato is into IT and works at Vodacom while Amanda works as an Auditor at Deloitte. We all agreed to meet for dinner that night (thank goodness it was friday).
The whole day was uneventful and I couldn’t wait to go home and get dressed for a night out with my girls. The day went by rather slowly and I was more than grateful when I got into my car and sped towards my cosy midrand apartment.
I left my crib dressed in a simple mini dress and wedge sandals. I was soon in my car, heading towards Rosebank. My friends and I were meeting for dinner and were considering going to Club Hush afterwards. They were waiting when I got there and after exchanging hugs and pecks, we got talking and eating.
“So, how’s it going with Wandile?” I asked Thato with a wink.
She sighed in response and shook her head.
Thato and Wandile had been dating for three years and I used to think they were the best couple anyone could ever meet but it seemed they were always fighting these days and Thato always appeared unhappy whenever his name came up.
Amanda quickly changed the topic; we were out to have fun, not to listen to Thato whine over and over again about how Wandile could be an asshole sometimes.
“I met the most irritating man at work today.” Amanda said.
I smiled. “But Amanda, you find any man that doesn’t look good in a suit, doesn’t speak Queen’s english and doesn’t address you the way you prefer irritating.”
Amanda rolled her eyes in response. “Speaking good english is not negotiable for me.” She said.
“Well, we’ll see if you are still saying that when you are living alone at 40 in a mansion with fifteen parrots and eight cats.” Thato said with a straight face.
I burst out laughing and Amanda glared at me.
“You shouldn’t be laughing Dineo. That image could pretty much be you.” She said.
I smiled. ” I strongly doubt that Mandy. I put myself out there and I am not as prissy as you.
Amanda rolled her eyes again. We spent dinner teasing and laughing at each other. I even told them about my ‘non-date’ the night before and they both hissed countless times at Katlego even though they had no idea who he was. Amanda even grabbed his business card out of my purse and flung it over her leftovers for the waiter to dispose of.
Soon, we were done eating and headed towards club Hush, one of the classy clubs in Johannesburg. The club is known to host lots of damn fine foreign men and that night, I was feeling lucky. We ordered drinks and were swaying gently to the music when the bar man approached me, a martini in his hand.
“The gentleman over there asked me to give you this.” He said with a polite smile.
I looked in the direction he was gesturing and saw two men and a lady seated across the club from us. I smiled and accepted the martini, raising the glass in a virtual toast to the guy the waiter was referring to. His friend and the other lady who I assumed was his friend’s girlfriend seemed to be nudging him. He laughed and started to walk towards my friends and me.
“Hello beautiful ladies,” He said. He was dark and towering above us at six feet, three inches. He was dressed in a well-tailored shirt and denim pants. His watch was police (yes I did a quick scan) and his smile was bright. I could tell he wasn’t South African from his physique (No offence to South African guys but we are not a country blessed with six feet tall men just hanging around every corner). His accent confirmed my speculations.
I flashed him my most charming smile and stood to shake his hand.
“My name is Dineo. Call my Diney.”. I said gushing. I heard Amanda mutter “Could she be more eager?” to Thato. I gently kicked her and continued smiling at my charming admirer. He asked me to dance and I agreed. He was so handsome and I found my nipples tingling at the thought of him caressing my body. It had been a while since I got some and at that point, I didn’t care about integrity or playing hard to get. My body was starving And I desperately needed someone to sweep away the cobwebs between my legs.
His friends and my friends were smiling at us. I could see Amanda was also stylishly scanning the room, trying to scout a man as fine as mine.
While we danced casually, I learnt his name was Emeka from Nigeria; he had a few businesses in Johannesburg and from the way he spoke, I could tell he was successful. I had often heard about Nigerian men successfully dealing drugs in South Africa but at that point, I didn’t care. The lust in my loins didn’t make me care.
As the night went on, I knew for sure I was definitely getting some that night. I went to my friends to pick my purse and told them they could head home whenever they were ready. Emeka told me he lived at Rosebank so I left my car where it was securely parked and left with him in his Toyota Fortuner.
His house was tastefully furnished but I wasn’t too interested in that. I inched my bosy towards his as he locked the door and started to kiss him. He was so passionate and knew where to touch and when. He carried me into his bedroom and slowly undressed me. He looked uncertain about taking off his clothes and for a moment, I thought he was scared he was taking advantage of me. I quickly assured him I wasn’t drunk and reached for his zipper. What I saw as I pulled down his boxers explained his hesitation.
Emeka was a tall, dark chocolate man with rippling muscles, a six pack and………… an albino penis!
I almost fainted.