Okay, this is the part where I give you the 411 on my neighbor Theo. Theo is a Zimbabwean guy that moved into the house next to mine a couple of months after I started living there.
The first time I saw Theo, my first exact words were ‘My oh my! Come to mama!’ Of course I didn’t say it out loud but it was exactly what I thought. He was wearing a sleeveless vest and denim pants and I could just see his biceps contracting as he effortlessly picked up pieces of furniture from the moving van into the house. That day, I deliberately stepped out of the house, wearing the skimpiest dress I could find in my wardrobe in spite of the wind outside. I initiated conversation with just a smile and a tiny wave of the hand. (Yes! I’m charming like that 😉
After the first day, I found myself always seeking Theo’s attention. You would have thought the fact that he was a third year student at Midrand Graduate institute would have put me off since I was already gainfully employed but Nah! There was something sultry and sexy about that guy, I just had to take a dip in the Zimbabwean pool.
A few weeks after he moved in, we finally did it. Oh my sack of cheese, never did anything feel so good; I was literally begging for more! That guy knew what to do to evoke the most passionate responses from me. I had no complaints. I remember Amanda and Thato even complimented me about the undeniable glow I had. I always smiled at their compliments but I never told them I was getting some from a guy that was three years younger than me. I wasn’t ready to be judged.
The first month together was great. Day after day, Theo came to my house and I cooked dinner or sometimes ordered pizza. As time went on, I slowly started to realize Theo was a leech. It started with little things like him coming to me to borrow R20 so he could buy juice from the mini mart close by. It then went on to things like borrowing R400 for a textbook he needed. He never paid back and the sex was so good that I never asked. He was like a little slut. Everytime after sex, he had a request! If he wasn’t in need of groceries, he was asking for cash for some school stuff. He even had the effrontery to come to my house from time to time, asking me for food. He often stood by the door with a sorrowful face and asked
“Hi Diney. Do you have noodles for me please?”
The worst was when he showed up with three of his zimbabwean buddies at 7:00am on a saturday, all of them holding empty food containers, coming to ask me for cereal and milk. HUH???
Brother puhlease! I don’t remember having a son! As his requests grew, my contempt for him grew. I coolly told him off once when he tried to make a move to get me into bed; I stopped picking his calls and many times, I left him knocking for at my door while I simply pretended not to be in.
Now that you have the background on Theo, back to the main gist.
I opened the door and rolled my eyes as I saw him standing there with a sorrowful face.
“Hi Diney! I was hoping…”
The frustrations from the past two nights caused me to snap before he could complete his sentence.
“What do you want now? Food? Money? Clothes? You bloody man whore! I am not your bloody mother!”
With that I slammed the door and hissed angrily. I went to the bathroom, with a glass of red wine. A bubble bath and some wine were all I needed to calm my nerves.
My blackberry vibrated and I checked it to see three missed calls from Thato and two from Amanda. A text from Thato said she was planning to drop by. I quickly replied that I wasn’t home. I just wasn’t in the mood to be with anyone. I was still traumatized from the night before and visibly shaking from having yelled at my parasitic neighbour.
I had spent just 20 minutes in the bath when a text came in. I didn’t want to check it but the annoying red light blinking on my phone made me. It was a text from Katlego and it simply read ‘Meet me for dinner?’
If I was a volcano, that would have been the explosion to result in total armageddon. After cursing loudly, I decided to ignore the text. By the time I got out of the bath tub and got dressed, I was so pissed off and restless, I couldn’t sit still. I decided to go shopping; retail therapy was crucial to my wellbeing!