I shivered as I looked at Thabang. Still shivering, I stood from the couch, taking note of the angry look on her face.
“Erm… Thabang, I’m sorry but I am as straight as….” I couldn’t think of a word.
She stood and walked towards me. “That’s what you think because you haven’t explored the option of being with another woman.
I frowned. This chic was a psycho! Was her gay radar even working? Please don’t get me wrong; I am not homophobic. I just found it very weird and scary that a lesbian was hitting on me.
At that moment, my cell phone rang and I quickly reached for it. It was Thato, she was at my gate, worried sick about me. I had never been so happy to hear from anyone in my life. I grabbed my key from the kitchen table and quickly pushed the remote, while keeping my eye on Thabang.
She seemed taken aback by Thato’s entry and after a few minutes of exchanging pleasantries, she said she was leaving. I gladly let her out and silently promised myself to change all the locks in the house. I was just so scared.
Thato was glad to see I was doing alright, though a bit shaken and when I told her about the albino penis experience with Emeka, she laughed so hard and at the same time, looked so shocked, I couldn’t help but laugh too. She spent the night at my apartment and we sat up talking about men, fashion and other girly stuff.
The next day was a Sunday; we were too hung over to attend church so we stayed home, made pancakes and talked some more.
“You know what would be fun? Signing up on a dating site!” Thato said excitedly.
I raised my eyebrow. “Thato…you remember you have a man, don’t you?”
“Well, who said it’s for me?” She replied with a mischievous grin.
I frowned and started to shake my head as soon as I realized what she meant. “Hell no! There is no way I am signing up on one of those sites Thato. It’s not like I’m looking to get married or anything.”
She smiled. “Yeah yeah, I know! But still you and Amanda are so lonely, I can’t help but pray that you find amazing men soon; not for marriage but you know, you always need a companion to share special moments with.”
I sighed. She was right. There were times I felt so lonely, I couldn’t help but wish I had someone besides Amanda and Thato to spend time with. I decided to take her up n her advice and grabbed my laptop computer. Soon we were surfing the internet in search of a secure dating site. We finally found one that looked good enough and I signed up. There were so many good looking men in Johannesburg that I didn’t even know about!
“How come we don’t see these men on the street?” I asked Thato in elated surprise. She was drooling over the men herself and if it wasn’t for the fact that she had a man, she could have signed up right there and then.
One particular profile caught my eye. It belonged to a guy called Edwin, he was a researcher at the Scientific research institute of South Africa, was six years older than me, height of six feet, he had dark chocolate mousse skin (Yes I love my men mocha style; latte…not so much), he had a bright smile and his pictures were just so damn fine.
I sent him a message and awaited his response while Thato and I prepared lunch. He responded later that evening and when I read his message, my heart soared. From his message, I could tell he possessed the necessary etiquette of a gentleman. The message simply read:
“Hi there. I’m sorry I didn’t respond on time, I was at church.”
Just knowing such a fine man was a christian was a PLUS for him. I quickly responded and from then we communicated everyday for two weeks. He was really sweet, well travelled; we had a lot in common and happened to have visited many of the same countries. When he first told me he was from Gabon, I quickly remembered Emeka and his albino penis but then, he started sending me voice recordings in French,I couldn’t have cared if his penis was lime green.
Three weeks after we started chatting, we arranged a date at Sandton. It was for a saturday evening and the whole day, I was so jittery, I could barely concentrate on one thing.
I took a bubble bath and meticulously started to get ready for my date. Thato and Amanda came to help out and together, we worked on putting together a killer outfit. We settled on an ankle-length lavender free-flowing dress with silver stilettos. I was ready fifteen minutes before he was due to pick me (Yes! He was picking me up, what a man!) So I spent time taking pictures with Amanda and Thato.
Edwin was right on time. As soon as he called me, I opened the gate to let me into the yard. Excited to see what he looked like, Amanda and Thato walked with me out of the house to see the amazing man that had had me glowing for so many days.
He got out of the car and we all stopped in our tracks as soon as we saw him. I was actually staring open-mouthed, confused at the sight before me.
Edwin was a man probably in his fifties, he had grey hairs, a thick beard and used a walking stick.
“Hi Dineo” He said with a smile that showed stained yellow teeth.
I couldn’t speak or move.