I don’t know about you but it has been one long busy week! Whew! *wipes sweat* Thank Goodness it’s Friday yeah? so we have time to catch some fun and reward ourselves for the laborious week. Well, before we hit the pubs, clubs or whatever rocks your boat, let’s meet my favourite lady.
Last week, I mentioned Miss ‘up in the air with my stilts’ and many people are curious to meet her. Somehow I suspect, many people want to know if this particular shoe fits so I decided not to kill them with anticipation and introduce my favourite lady of all time.
Have you ever tried walking on Stilts? I have and thanks to my lack of balance, I fell like a pack of cards; that’s what makes Miss Stilts different; she hardly falls and when she does, she hides it perfectly.
You see, Miss ‘up in the air with my stilts’ is an identity thief! No she doesn’t need your passport or your last name…(Well, except you are one of the Gates’ and the Dangotes), she just needs your status to be bestowed on her and she will act the part, talk the talk and if necessary, walk the walk to sound relevant to the who’s who of the society – and by society, this could be a small village, a classroom, an office or even a group of friends.
Miss Stilts is a name-dropper; Bottega veneta, Christian Louboutin, Tom Ford, Salvatore Ferragamo, Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors, Jimmy Choo.. Don’t forget Prada, Vera Wang and even Kurt Geiger (this is a male designer but she doesn’t care about that)… she will drop any name just to have you stare at her in admiration. Did I forget Roberto cavalli and Thierry Mugler?
She is the type that can’t afford a pin from any of these shops but she keeps dropping names to make you think she’s living the celebrity life. She has an accent to go with her name-dropping- sounds like she swallowed her tongue but the ‘gullibles’ around her are sucked in by it.
She’s the type you go shopping with and she would walk into every designer store but not buy even a 10ml bottle of nail polish. She would simply roll her eyes and say the words “they just don’t have what I am looking for.” Sure they don’t! What shes’s looking for is approval from others to accept herself. Does that sound weird? let me explain and rephrase.
You see Miss Stilts is a lady from an average family in most cases- they are not doing too good nor are they doing bad. they can afford the basic necessities- food, clothes from your everyday store or even the flea market and they have a roof over their heads. Miss Stilts goes out into the world and is easily intimidated because she is uncomfortable in her real skin so she buys another skin from her imagination- the skin of a spoilt young girl that has everything everyone wants and more. In that skin, she is daddy’s little girl, the one daddy would hire a jet for to drop her off at college just because there’s a bit of traffic on the way…. to cut a long story short, Miss stilts is a liar- that’s why I have called her Miss Stilts. She is not herself- Stilts make you taller than you actually are but they are so uncomfortable to walk with and the chances of you falling over are high…except you are a pro 😉
(that’s the beginner version of Miss Stilts). You will never catch Miss Pro stilts out on a lie except you sit and take time to analyse every sentence in which case, you would have to have a lot of time on your hands. Miss Pro Stilts is the girl with the British accent that sounds real even though she has been sweating it out in a slum in Africa all her life (like a friend of mine once said- they get their accent from DSTV :D); She’s the girl that has done everything you have and more even if it’s something bad… In my first year of college, I met a Miss Stilts Pro. I decided to test her one day so I said “I broke my neck once”. She quickly jumped up and said “Oh! I broke my neck, my two arms and my back this one time, it was so painful”
You see, Miss Stilts’ fear is that she might blend into the environment and no one would notice her so she gets her stilts on to appear and stay relevant; she’s the type to rent a bathroom-size room in an up-class neighbourhood at an exorbitant price rather than live in a middle-class neighbourhood because she thinks to herself “If people see me living in that middle-class neighbourhood, they will lose all respect for me”. She’s the type to run to the fashion outlets when any amount of money comes her way, forget about food, she needs to be seen in a new dress at the next barbecue party… It’s a problem- she’s scared to fall off her stilts and become irrelevant…
Dear Miss Stilts, I have news for you; no one cares about your designer names that you learn from a fashion directory booklet or the neighbourhood you live in. It’s not what you have that makes you relevant in the world, it’s what you project from the inside. Your stilts are worn out of fear, fear that if you show the world who you truly are, people will laugh and point in your face. Come on! We are all struggling here! Everyone has a story to share; almost everyone wishes for a fancy high class background but we don’t all get what we want, do we?
There is beauty in being yourself; You’re the only ‘you’ on earth- the original, the first. Enjoy it and pursue your dreams; achieve your dreams and you won’t need stilts to be relevant. Remember life is too short to spend it being someone else.
Can you identify the Miss Stilts in your lives? No need to mention names; just give me some of the juicy details about them being pros or beginners!
Till next week beautiful ladies! XOXO