Dear single men, let’s have a tête-à-tête…

Don’t get too excited, I’m not hosting an audition to choose my future husband.

These days, single women get the brunt for everything. When it comes to relationships, single women are on the receiving end of advice (much of which is unsolicited) more than single men.

Over the weekend, I recalled a conversation that I had the displeasure of witnessing and I realized something- yes, there are single ladies out there that have lost their sense of worth but there are also lots of single men out there that have no idea of what a woman should be about. I’ll let you in on the conversation I witnessed…. I was at a house party with friends and about 6 of the guys were discussing ladies while we ladies sat in groups discussing fashion (yes! We talk about other things besides men). Well, my antenna ears caught on the guys’ conversation- it was about a girl they had all had the ‘pleasure’ of having sex with. She was one of the loose girls around, many guys owned up to having sex with her and even went into details of what they did and how they did it….it wasn’t the whistle blowing that bothered me. I’ve learned that many men like to do that to earn ego stars. What bothered me was how admiringly they spoke about this girl they had all had carnal knowledge of. They spoke about her with high regard, not bothered in any way that she had offered herself to everyone of them, knowing very well that they are all friends!!!

Yes I know what you’re thinking…how come I have friends like that? Yes, I got home that night and was wondering too…but that’s a topic for another day.

Dear young men, I see many of you complaining about the ‘scarcity’ of good women and sometimes I wonder if that’s true but now I know that many of you are interested in the wrong things. You are led by youthful exuberance and sadly, many of you are caught in personal fables. You don’t seek substance, you seek decorated containers. For many of you, it’s all about the thrill of the moment, the ego you can attain from boasting to your friends about the thrill; it doesn’t matter if you’re boasting about the fact that you rode the neighbourhood bicycle just like every other lumberjack around the corner, you just want to attain the badge of honour that says you’re a badass….

Then you wonder why you can’t connect with a good woman. How is it possible? Can a pig enjoy living in a clean sty if it has spent all its life rolling in the mud?

Many of you have no respect for the exclusivity of relationships. You hurt good women and drag them through the mud for the sake of a cheap thrill to boast about to your friends. Good women are too boring- they don’t twerk or wear skirts that look like belts.

Dear young men, I’m not here to rant; I wish I had the energy to. I do want to leave you with some thoughts…. If a woman offers herself to you and the rest of the neighbourhood, she’s not worth dignifying, nor is she worth ‘playing with’ (not that you should play with any woman- cheap or not, we are not toys).

A good woman should not be taken for granted. The fact that she’s always there for you doesn’t mean she’s a fool or she’s too ugly to meet anyone better. Don’t insult her intelligence with your search for short-lived excitement. Nothing is more belittling for a woman than knowing she has given her all to be there for her man and he’s busy dignifying a cheap skate over her.

Dear young men, do think about these things. xoxo

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About Demilade Fayemiwo

I am a woman on an adventure; a student of life; a voice for the hopeless. I'm a city set on a hill. Motivation is what I do; it is who I am; it is hardwired into my DNA. I can't help but get you moving!
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6 Responses to Dear single men, let’s have a tête-à-tête…

  1. dylan says:

    A unique discussion will be worth comment. I think that you should publish more on this particular topic, may possibly not be a taboo subject but usually people are insufficient to speak in such matters. To the next. All the best

    Like

  2. tolu says:

    u nailed it girlfriend!

    Like

  3. Moyo' says:

    I love u demmie!! …. u just did a great job for me by putting into writing my thoughts..

    Like

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