“Don’t Be Left Behind!!!”

Those were the words that haunted me as I went to bed a couple of nights ago. After my usual routine of watching tv for at least a couple of hours a day, I struck up a spontaneous conversation with one of my acquaintances on BBM and the conversation steered in the direction of relationships. She asked why I wasn’t seeing anyone and I simply told her “I haven’t met the one. Many men out there are either cheats and liars or downright shady in the way they earn a living.” (I’m not planning to have a criminal record. I may be a president’s wife one day).

She went on to ask how many women get married every saturday if good men are so hard to find, I responded that some women are lucky, while others are willing to put up with liars and cheats for the glory of being called “Mrs”. Her response? “At least they are getting married”. I paused….. and carried on the conversation. Like I stated earlier, she is an acquaintance of mine and I really didn’t think I knew her well enough to have an in-depth discussion about that response. I went on to say many men are weirdos, they meet you today and propose to marry you next week. That sounds really sweet, but am I willing to marry someone I barely know? No! The divorce rate is high enough as it is, I have no plans to contribute to it. Worse still is the fact that some of these men get offended when you ask for sufficient time to know them and often accompany their proposals with a barrage of insults.

Her response? Times have changed! You can’t expect a man to chase you for years (I was thinking, if he’s chasing me for years, then he must have a really thick skull. I usually make it clear after a month or even a couple of weeks if I’m not interested. Give me a couple of months to know you, a few more months to date you before you spring marriage on me). I continued reading her messages… “You just have to be smart about it”, she said. “If a man proposes marriage after a couple of weeks, keep him interested while you get to know him. You might be prude and conservative but you need to move with the world! Don’t be left behind!!!”

Oh? I managed a LOL and announced my intention to drift off to la la land, switched off my phone and tried to sleep but I couldn’t! If a woman doesn’t jump at a marriage proposal from a man she barely knows, does that make her a prude? If a woman wants to get some time to know the man who is interested in her, does that make her conservative and boring? I need some clarification here, because I have been confused since I had that conversation. What i could infer from response 1,”At least they are getting married” is  that it doesn’t matter who the man is, or how much of a liar he is, you will be married and that is what is most important. LOL. Now I am really laughing, no wonder some men think the sun shines out of their ass. We are to blame! These days, when men joke, they usually take jabs at women, claiming  women will be over the moon if they were to propose. Marriage proposals are seen as favours by men with fragile egos and small minds. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against marriage. I love marriage, I want to be married but do I want to be married to just anyone? NO! Not every man who proposes marriage is good for you. You need to be able to know what you want in a man and be patient enough to wait for it.I am not saying you should be on the lookout for Mr. Perfect, there are some superficial characteristics that can be overlooked but you need to have a connection with the man you marry; intellectually, emotionally, financially and spiritually! Just because a man says “I want to marry you” doesn’t mean he’s good enough!

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About being a prude, oh well! better a prude than a vagina with warts and herpes, right? In an effort to not be described as prudish and old school, many women are moving with the world, jumping into bed to keep men interested, falling for a man that hints at marriage,getting dumped, abused and heartbroken every other month…how’s that working out for you ladies? I am not saying you should act like you’ve been living in a cave, I am not saying you should be boring or act offended when a guy makes jokes or comments about things you’d rather leave unsaid, but it doesn’t mean you should entertain every guy, simply to prove you are not a prude! Marriage looks nice and glamorous, especially on the wedding day, but believe me, forever is a long time! Avoid getting caught up in the rhythms of the world, just because you don’t want to be left behind.

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About Demilade Fayemiwo

I am a woman on an adventure; a student of life; a voice for the hopeless. I'm a city set on a hill. Motivation is what I do; it is who I am; it is hardwired into my DNA. I can't help but get you moving!
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12 Responses to “Don’t Be Left Behind!!!”

  1. Mcbeechee says:

    i don’t even know what to say, but i most definitely want to blame someone, but who? Society make it seem like the purpose to life is getting married. That’s all. Get married, have kids and then raise those kids to get married. Like now, if there’s a little too much pepper in a meal i cook, the concern for my mum isn’t if the meal can be managed, but how i shouldn’t let my “lack of concentration” ruin my “husband’s” meals. i’m not even through with uni and she’s giving hints.
    So i think its the ladies that lack perspective, or the insecure ones, the ones with low self esteem that give in too easily to chance. Peer pressure is real too.
    i don’t know how much more enlightenment is needed for females to get it that we should be in control of our future.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ladydacreme says:

      I have noticed that getting married is fast becoming an achievement. I met my friend’s mother a couple of weeks ago and she kept telling me that “Marriage is a woman’s honour”. Without it, she will be alone with all her achievements, which will be worth nothing.” Wow…I was dumbfounded

      Like

  2. nivika says:

    I think this comment is a waste of data, because I agree with you! It is women who enable men to act all high and mighty over us… We are so desperate and they know that and take advantage of it… Anyway… It is sad… and it is the reality we are living with. I want to hug the ladies that think being Mrs. so and so is the ultimate achievement. What a waste of a life if God created you solely for becoming someone else’s wife! Wait… You have to doll yourself up and act dumb so someone can spot you and then propose… Yeah I don’t have time for that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • ladydacreme says:

      LMAO! I just love “Wait… You have to doll yourself up and act dumb so someone can spot you and then propose… Yeah I don’t have time for that!” You are a star my friend!

      Like

  3. Nkaytchee says:

    I went to see my former boss where i did my IT a couple of years back, we hadn’t seen for years and we got talking. naturally he started asking why i was still single. i said ‘i’m yet to find a serious guy’…
    he laughed out loud and said ‘ ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE NOT THE UNSERIOUS ONE? ARE YOU SURE YOU DO NOT NEED TO REVIEW YOUR LIST (by list here, he meant that i had a long list of specs that i was looking for in a man), I’M SURE YOUR TASTE IS VERY HIGH.
    As much as i was pissed by these suggestions of his, i kept my cool cos it was obvious that we weren’t on d same page. Bythe time i was done schooling him on my experiences with relationships and guys, he was speechless!!

    Anyways, it’s annoying when people say all that crap to me. what the heck, obviously they expect me to jump on any guy that comes my way just because they think that a lady my age is supposed to be in a man’s house. at the end of d day, the only thing they do is come to the wedding to eat rice and drink juice, and then after all the merriment when the man turns you into a punching bag or starts showing his TRUE COLORS, they wont be there to bear all the pains and agony with you.

    And then it’s talks like this that push some ladies to just settle for anything. I have learnt a lot from my parents’ marriage, growing up i have seen how people who seem happy on the outside go through pains on the inside, and God help me i do not want to make a life-long mistake. It’s better to be single now and get it right, than jump in and realise that you are stuck in a sinking ship.

    P.S – SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT!!!
    P.S.S – FIRST TIME COMMENTING ON YOUR BLOG….*winks*

    Liked by 1 person

    • ladydacreme says:

      It is really annoying when everyone, especially men who have no idea what women deal with, have opinions or a timeline regarding a lady’s relationship. I often hear things like “your standards are too high” and I can’t help but laugh. Should I aim for an ambition-less fellow? Or a cyber robber? Simply because I want to fulfill the desires and expectations set by people that don’t have to bear the brunt of a bad marriage. My dear, waiting for Mr. Right is worth it. Mr. Right Now will end up frustrating the life out of you. I just read the story of a woman whose husband has blocked her on facebook, sleeps in a separate room and brings his mistress home. Forever is a long time; we must choose wisely! May God bring our princes to us!xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

    • ladydacreme says:

      And thanks for the comment dear, hope to read more from you.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. perarlzic says:

    I said something like you did about women putting up with me just to say they have an and people said I was being “judgy”.

    Why does being with a man have to be the ultimate goal? Why can’t you wait to know him? I see nothing wrong with that. In rushing you may miss out on the guy you’re actually suppose to be with cus you settled for mr.Convenient

    You’re right. Women act like attaining a proposal is like getting the golden ticket.a free pass to man paradise.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lapaka K says:

    Loved the post Demi. Its a sad thing that most girls believe that being married is the ultimate measure of success.The title Mrs. is more important even if you go to bed crying every night

    Liked by 1 person

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