The obvious response would be “there aren’t any” but we all know that’s not true. I believe there is a lid for every pot. Therefore, God has made a provision for every woman. When this particular issue is addressed, fingers are always pointed at the women and what they are doing wrong. “Women don’t want to be led”, “Many women are looking for made men” and of course there is the popular opinion that christian women die single because, despite their christian inclination, they are on the search for bad boys. How wrong can it get? I can’t help but wonder why we are always on the receiving end of advice (solicited and otherwise) and cruel jokes that highlight the future depression that awaits us if we do not succumb to the available options before us.
There are good christian men out there but I daresay there are few who are qualified to date and eventually get married! Yes, there are many men in church who are part of the work force and are dedicated to the work of God, but can they show any dedication to their relationships? Many christian men believe being a part of the workforce in the church is all there should be to them. It is all a woman needs if she looking to have a successful marriage- that’s where you are wrong.
Contrary to popular belief, Christian women want to be led but the thing is we want to know who is leading us and who his GPS is. Is he leading by his own flesh? or is he looking up to God for guidiance? So many christian men revel in what I call spiritual pride. They consider themselves so good, so awesome and so spiritual that they believe anything contrary to their opinion belongs in the gutter. Many take it a little too far and express very clearly their dislike for their wives’ assertiveness in the marriage or her desire to take charge in certain areas where they might be lacking. They are all self-sufficient. Dear young men, in case you didn’t know, that’s a problem!
There is the strong belief that all women want ‘Made men’. I beg to differ; it all depends on the level she has reached in her life. The same way I’d find a relationship between a lady in her final year of university and a young man in high school disturbing is the same way I’d have sleepless nights if I were to hear that one of my buddies is getting married to someone she is not compatible with spiritually, intellectually and yes! Financially. I don’t know if it is a misinterpretation of the bible but many christian men and some christian women believe they are in the right relationship, only if they have very humble beginnings. While that may be true for some, it is also very true that money is an important factor in a marriage and is the underlying cause of many broken marriages. I am not saying women need to have millionaires or men that run Fortune 500 companies but to get married and start a family, it is only realistic that you have a financial support system for your family. I always ask three questions- Can he afford to pay rent, buy food and put warm clothes on his back during winter? That is all a woman needs to know. If you can afford to do that for yourself, then your combined income with your spouse woul dbe able to achieve even much more!You can’t expect a woman to sit back and let you lead her when you haven’t even fulfilled the two main requirements of a husband- a provider and a protector!
And of course, you all believe Good girls love bad boys. My response? REALLY???
How did people arrive at that? Many men believe it’s because women don’t want to be treated right, they like to be lied to… etc. That’s just total BS! Christian women want good christian men, but not christian men that don’t have an opinion at all or men that hide behind the facade of christianity to emotionally and spiritually abuse women. You need to be strong and assertive, and even though you don’t know where you are going, you are not standing still. You are walking in faith, being led by God. It’s not about the flashy cars and the expensive suits for us. It is about your drive, passion, assertiveness and tolerance when need be.
FYI, if you attend church but dabble in activities that are against God’s will, you are not a christian man in any way. If you attend church simply to scan who the new chics are so you can try to have your way with them, you are not a christian man. If you joined a workforce so you can get noticed by the ladies or even the pastoral team in order to further your ‘church career’, I don’t need to tell you what you’re not. You can’t call yourself a christian man if you engage in spreading rumours about young women simply because you couldn’t have your way with them. You can’t call yourself a christian man if you look down on the opinion of your spouse because you believe you are the only one with God’s microphone in his ear.
So many marriages are broken because Christian men are not stepping up and Christian women are settling for less. It’s time to step up to your role young men! Strap on a pair or four if you need them and work towards becoming a better man.