I have been told many times that I can be insensitive simply because I encourage people to let go. Many of us are trapped in personal fables where we believe the world cannot understand what we are going through. We are stars in a tragic play and we want to savour every minute of the role, enjoy the pity parties that celebrate the tragic incidents of our lives, and of course have an audience to watch, empathize with us and applaud us as we sink deeper into the awful memories we choose to carry around.
Everyone has a story to tell- a horrible breakup, an abusive partner, an abusive stepfather, an absent father… the list goes on. Some have stories of betrayal from friends and sometimes even family members to share; and there is nothing wrong with sharing as long as you realize none of these past events define who you are and what you can become. There are so many women walking around with hurt simply because they have unanswered questions that have put a dent in their self-esteem. “Who is my father and why did he walk out on us? Am I not good enough? Am I not lovable?” No one denies the fact that an absent parent may often have a negative impact on a child but as an adult, the power is in your hands. You have to let it all go. I know it is difficult, and you may assume that I find it easier to say that simply because I did not have an absent father, or have to go through trying times in life… Wrong! I choose to let go, why? Because I can’t change the past and I have realized I do not have to be held responsible for the actions of someone else.
Letting go is important if you are on a quest to find happiness. Whatever may have happened- bad relationship, a cheating husband etc is absolutely no fault of yours, and you need to come to terms with that. Some of us get hurt in relationships and vow never to love again. What we don’t understand however is that love is easier than hate. Storing hate in your heart is self-destructive! I love Lee Ann Womack’s ‘I hope you dance’ where she says
“Don’t let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter. When you come close to selling out, reconsider. Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.”
Holding on to past hurt, pain and all the events you can no longer control is a way of selling out your happiness to the past, you are selling out your possibilities and opportunities so you can hang on to a past that has nothing to offer you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, you can still be great if you dare. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall, what matters is letting go of that failure so you can stand again. A friend once said to me “it’s so easy to be happy. All you have to do is let go of all the things that make you sad.” I smiled and thought ‘that sounds way too simple’, but guess what she was right!
Now I know you won’t wake up one morning with all the ill feelings miraculously gone! You have to be deliberate! Deliberately choose to control your thoughts; deliberately choose not to let thoughts of past pain dominate you. Deliberately choose to love others, deliberately choose to spread happiness, and above all, deliberately choose to believe the best about yourself! because you are all shades of awesome! and there are lots of people out there that care about you. So do yourself a favour- Let Go! 🙂 XOXO