Silence Is A Skill

download I’ll get right to it… Sometimes shutting up is the best thing you’ll ever do. In this new age where we are constantly being encouraged to speak out, be heard, and express ourselves, we are beginning to blur the lines between knowing when to speak up and when to just sit quietly and watch.

I believe silence is an important life skill everyone must acquire if they intend to get far in life with people. Of course, in this new age, we are told not to care about what people think and just do us. I support that; no one should live a life dictated by the expectations of others. However, in the process of being ourselves, we have to bear in mind that there are some characteristics that are simply laborious to deal with. Being overly loquacious is one of such characteristics, and may even stand in the way of our progress in the work place. As much we ought not be bothered by what people think, we need to understand that at some point in our lives, we will need people to give us a chance. I don’t see that happening if the people in question would rather hide beneath a rock than hear us go on and on about our ideas and opinions.

So many of us like to hear our own voices; I don’t know if this is a result of unwarranted pride in our own intelligence, or simply a lack of control over our voice boxes. The annoying thing is we are not aware of this, and tend to subject poor innocent people to the constant droning of our voices. Of course they’ll smile and nod, but when they get home, they’ll sigh and say “whew! what an irritating fellow!”

Silence is  a sign of maturity; a person’s ability to bite their tongue, rather than say something hurtful saves relationships, and prevents unnecessary headaches that are a result of laborious arguments. Silence  does not mean keeping mute at all times; it means strategically using your words when you have to, and shutting up when you can tell that speaking up will lead to an unnecessary cascade of unpleasant events. Silence doesn’t mean not having an opinion; instead it can be used as a tool to suggest to the other fellow…”let’s agree to disagree”. Silence in relationships should not be used to punish and keep malice (that is a very childish move I am yet to comprehend by the way); instead it should be used to avoid hurting your partner.

Silence is a skill I have recently started to master; sometimes I simply let people read my displeasure at their actions from my facial expressions. it is not because I don’t have words, believe me I do! But I have learned with political plays in relationships, friendships and in the work place that silence can never be misquoted. Sometimes it’s simply best to keep your mouth shut!

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About Demilade Fayemiwo

I am a woman on an adventure; a student of life; a voice for the hopeless. I'm a city set on a hill. Motivation is what I do; it is who I am; it is hardwired into my DNA. I can't help but get you moving!
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3 Responses to Silence Is A Skill

  1. ingesaunders says:

    This is such a valuable post. Silence is indeed golden and usually, especially in work situations, a show of intelligence since you’d be more prone to know what’s exactly going on than the guy/woman who shoots off their mouth. In relationships/friendships…it’s a must. I love how you wrote… “Silence in relationships should not be used to punish and keep malice (that is a very childish move I am yet to comprehend by the way); instead it should be used to avoid hurting your partner.” Many people employ ‘silence’ as a strategy in relationships to manipulate. I’ve been in such relationships and still have some (oh those family members you just can’t shake!lol). Usually this is done by people who lack emotional intelligence, because a mature person wouldn’t even be bothered by the ‘silence’ since they’d know it’s sometimes necessary in order to resolve conflict. And yes, I’ve recently dealt with someone who thought they could exercise what I call, ‘volatile silence’ on me, in order to get me to sway to their way of thinking/doing. It didn’t work. Instead of agreeing to disagreeing AND remaining silent on the issue, they chose to bulldoze through it, become extremely argumentative when, like I mentioned, I wasn’t going change my view point. Silence, is golden. I do believe it can be the making or breaking of relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ladydacreme says:

      Lol at bulldoze. I mean seriously? People need to grow up. I do get irritated by friends who employ silence as a tool for manipulation, and I have to admit such ‘friendships’ do not last long for me. If only one could easily discard family members like that lol. Unfortunately we can’t choose family.

      Liked by 1 person

      • ingesaunders says:

        Funny right *smh* When they realized their ‘silence’ didn’t move me whatsoever, I was now being forced into an argument I was not willing to participate in, because sorry to say, but it had become stupid and idiotic, and definitely blown out of proportion *sigh* Family *deep, deep sigh* We all have our crosses to bear LOL

        Like

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