The Real Reason Intelligent Women End Up Single

1536539575_professional_woman_xlargeIt is general knowledge; men want a lady in public, and a freak in private. Add a dash of intelligence, a spoonful of beauty, sprinkle some sense of humor over her and she is all good for them to gobble up. Isn’t it strange then that many intelligent women who have ALL the above-mentioned characteristics remain single for donkey years while their seemingly less-intelligent buddies go on to have the warmth of a man, the care of a family and the joy of sharing warm meals at a dinner table? It doesn’t make any logical sense that women who do not spend their entire day with their noses stuck in books, or their TVs constantly tuned to CNN get the best men out there. They get the hardworking, intelligent, christian man who would lift the world on his shoulders to please them if he had to. Strange picture right?

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I have spent a lot of time around intelligent women; I daresay I only keep intelligent friends. In case you’re a friend of mine reading this, and you’re doubting your intelligence, you should be doubting our friendship too. Anyway, back to the crux of the gist… how is it that many intelligent women remain single for long periods? I know the answer! No! It’s not because men like stupid women; some men may prefer to have women who do not have any opinions of their own, but intelligent men LOVE intelligent women. You’re probably thinking ‘Oh! then why don’t they ask us out? I have an answer for that too! It’s because we are so into our acquired intelligence, we have our noses stuck in the air half of the time. Yeah… you are probably shaking your head right and asking “is she expecting me to act dumb?” Nope! Definitely not!

Like I said earlier, I spent a lot of time observing intelligent women and our male counterparts and I arrived at the conclusion that men tend to avoid (for lack of a better word) intelligent women because we wear our intelligence like a shield. Many of us believe intelligence is an apparel we must display like clothing on mannequins; we think intelligence is a shiny badge we must shove in everyone’s faces to avoid being taken for a ride or being treated less than we actually are. The crux of what I am trying to say is that we want to put out our intelligence before we put out our human selves because we believe it makes us look better. Well, want to know what guys think? I’ll keep that till later.

I am not saying women should dumb themselves down for men; not by any stretch of the imagination! On the contrary, embrace your intelligence, love it, use it when you need to, but stop, stop using it as a yardstick other people must comply to. Just because you like to follow CNN 24 hours a day doesn’t mean you are more intelligent than a person who watches the same station for 30 minutes a day and spends time doing other things. When you meet a guy for the first time, don’t write him off as an idiot simply because he’s not aware crude oil prices are set to continue falling, hurting the economies of oil-reliant nations like the Middle East and some parts of West Africa (yes, I follow the news but it wouldn’t be the first thing I’d speak about with a new guy I have my sights on). We are quick to write men off as ‘wrong’ if they don’t connect with us on the level we want the very first day.

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Besides waving our intelligence in people’s faces and letting them know we have it all, I have observed that many intelligent women are impatient. We judge intelligence by the physical outlook of the individual; if he doesn’t meet up to the physical standards of an intelligent man, we immediately write him off, and assume he is not worth a tinge of our time. Well guess what? Some CEOs walk around in shorts and even ride bicycles to the closest supermarket. Some of the world’s brightest minds crack jokes when they meet a person for the first time. If they are nerds like me, those jokes probably won’t be funny and you may assume they are dumbasses, and walk away from a potential life partner that could be the best thing that ever happened to you. When we women discover we are intelligent, we want to show it everyone, and if we can, lord it over everyone! And you wonder why we stay single till Olay can no longer solve our wrinkle problems.  Aha! Now you know.

No man wants a domineering woman. No woman wants a domineering intelligent female friend either, so this has nothing to do with men and their mars-ish attitude (men are from mars, get it?). Every human being on earth wants to be understood, respected and treated as an equal. same goes for the issue of intelligence. Being intelligent doesn’t mean you need to constantly prove a point, it doesn’t mean you have to win every argument and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to always have the last word.That’s so annoying by the way; I’m a woman and I can’t stand those female weirdos that text you like 30 minutes after the end of the argument to say things like “fine”, “heard you”, “do what you like”… Jeez your silence is enough for me to deduce that).

Intelligent men don’t want to enter into the battle of intelligence so they go for  what we may perceive as less-intelligent women. They don’t want to argue endlessly over the same issue in a bid to win an inconsequential argument, and they certainly don’t want a woman who will constantly throw the “I’m smart, don’t take me for a fool” line at them EVERY SINGLE TIME! Really ladies, that line is stale. Time to come up with something else. Intelligence is not maturity; perhaps, that’s why we miss out on love.

Do share your thoughts! XOXO

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About Demilade Fayemiwo

I am a woman on an adventure; a student of life; a voice for the hopeless. I'm a city set on a hill. Motivation is what I do; it is who I am; it is hardwired into my DNA. I can't help but get you moving!
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