As published on covenantrelationships.org
Before you walk down the aisle, it is a key factor that you are sure your future spouse is the one. While many people may rely on pure intuition and emotions, there are people who rely on directions from God. No one wants to marry the wrong person, that’s for sure, but how do you know for sure that the person you’ve chosen is the one for you?
I recently read a couple of posts about women who were in search of a future partner. Both women had solid friendships with men who were prayerful, strong in the church and could chase demons for a hundred miles without growing weary. These characteristics seemed attractive, but for some reason, these women were unsure of whether or not they wanted to go forward. One of them stated clearly that her dilemma laid in the fact that she was yet to meet any other guy at 25, and in spite of the obvious lack of attraction to this godly brother, she was willing to walk into marriage with him. It made me question the growing desire to know for sure that we’re indeed in a relationship with the right person. How do we know it is a union God has blessed?
Some people are downright lucky; they see things in their dreams, have visions, and sometimes through a bible verse, have a clear indication of what to do an where to go. For some of us, we might not have any subtle whispers or storming voices, but we have peace regarding our decision; our genuine happiness sometimes is an indication of God’s blessing. Unfortunately, this latter form of communication seems insufficient for some, and they go looking for anyone they believe is already the epitome of perfection. Surely God would only bless a union between a choir mistress and a pastor, right?
I believe strongly that God speaks to each one of us through our hearts, and his greatest gift is peace. If you are with your seemingly perfect brother but have no peace, then you are not in the right place. Contrary to growing Christian beliefs, attraction is a key factor in marriage too. Attraction is not something that ought to come with time, it should be something you feel from the start of the relationship. Pushing it aside simply because you want to adhere to the rules of perfection is a recipe for disaster. Before I ask my friends if they have peace where their future spouse is concerned, I always ask “are you genuinely attracted to your partner’s character?” This I believe is the foundation many have abandoned in the pursuit for perfection, rather than the pursuit of happiness. Do share your thoughts. XOXO