This Feminism Nonsense

Feminism is just absolute nonsense! Really now! Look at how it has altered the dynamics of society, making women think they own the place and call the shots when clearly this world was built for men and men alone. This feminism is an unnecessary revolution staged to destroy what actually works in society to create a system where roles have been changed, slaves have become masters and life has become hell for men. Women no longer want to cook for their husbands because of feminism. Women no longer want to be bothered with house chores because of feminism. Women now want equal pay (like they have the same responsibilities as men). Women want to be respected like men (like seriously? Did Sarah not call Abraham Lord?)

Of course, men are retaliating; men no longer pick up the bill on dates they invite women to because well… she’s a feminist. If she wants equal rights, she should pay the bill. Men can no longer tell their wives what she can or cannot do with her life. They can no longer decide if she gets to study further or gets to keep her childhood friend. Their authority in their homes has been undermined because of this feminism nonsense. Women no longer want to submit; they don’t want to apologize when their men cheat; they don’t even ask what they did wrong that led him to cheat and try to fix things. They have these groups like FIN on Facebook that provide support and improve their self-esteem. This feminism nonsense has made women too strong! So strong that men no longer find them appealing, and have to now subject potential spouses to interrogations aimed at testing their aversion or adherence to submission. It has become a necessity to screen submissiveness, no thanks to this feminism nonsense.

This feminism nonsense has come to erode the hearts of impressionable young women who do not understand the need to be weak and vulnerable so they can be appealing to the men who are available. These women think they deserve better because this feminism nonsense said so.

Women now want to negotiate equal pay at work because feminism said so; they have no respect for men who are psychologically, emotionally and physically abusive because of this feminism. Women now speak up, they meet up, they hold their heads up because feminism said so. Can this feminism nonsense just die a natural death like du-rags and over-sized jeans did? (Or are those not really dead? Lord help us!

LOL.

Of course, these views are not my own. These are the views of many people out there who have absolutely no idea what feminism is or how it came about or even why it is necessary for society. There are interestingly many people out there who still believe the burden of keeping society falls on women and I bet if you are one of them, you just got disappointed reading this paragraph. HEHEHE. Sorry, not sorry.

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Men Are Victims Of Society Too

Feminism is becoming more popular as more women and men fight for the equal rights of both sexes. As a result, more and more opponents to the feminist cause keep rising in a bid to champion the status quo that has persisted over the years and favoured men. For many of these opponents, feminism is absolute nonsense. Men and women are not equal; hence they cannot have equal social and economic rights. Many men are against the feminist movement as it makes women ‘undateable’. Someone on twitter recently said, “women are unhappy in their marriages because they don’t want to give up complete control to their men”. A guy on a TV show said he chose to marry from a different country because the women in his country were feminists who had not learned to rely on the ability of men to control the relationship (I really hate that word ‘control’ by the way). His choice of a bride was however very interesting – a woman who threw major tantrums, cancelled his flight via his email and even cleaned out his iPhone because he failed to get her a designer purse. It made me realise two things: 1. Many men do not understand what feminism or who a feminist is, and 2. men are victims of society as much as women have been.

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Growing up in an African society, it was normal to hear the phrase “Be a man” whenever a man was facing a situation that drove him to tears. The phrase was meant to remind him of the fallacy that real men don’t shed tears. Real men take every pain in stride and move on like nothing ever happened. It was also common to hear elderly men tell younger men “you must show her you are the man” when giving relationship advice. The idea behind such advice was to urge the man to make sure the woman in his life did whatever he wanted, the way he wanted it. Even when these men were unfaithful to their partners, these elders told younger men to show themselves as men and not mind the painful groaning of their wives.Afterall, they are men!

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I got to realise now that the feminist movement has exposed the fragile parts of masculinity that men have been raised to believe they are not men except they are able to control another person’s life, subject another person to pain and make decisions whose weight they don’t necessarily have to carry alone.

Society has victimised men by giving them power that they have not earned and by letting them ride on the insecurity wave that presents itself as security. Many men would not live with a woman who makes decisions regarding her career and her heart’s desires, not because she does not value their input, but because they are not in control of the situation. Many men would not marry women who are as educated as they are because they believe women who are ‘too educated’ (by the way, there is no such thing as too much education) are hard to control. Many men who marry educated women make it a point of duty to ‘clip their wings’ just so they can show them who’s boss. And interestingly, in all of this,  these men consider themselves secure in their identity and individuality. Well, guess what? They are not. If anything at all, society has sown the ultimate seed of insecurity in men, telling them that they are not enough as they are, except someone is enslaved by them.

That is why feminism is regarded as a problem, rather than progress. That is why men don’t want women with vision but will happily put up with a woman who has no direction or plans for her life. It is the reason men will detest a woman who has her life together and will celebrate a woman who is unaware her brain is in her head. This is why submission is still a word in relationships and power is necessary to make the man feel good. It is why words like leverage are thrown around in discussions with their partners, and the term head of the home is more important than anything else. It is why many men are afraid of genuine love because it is too carefree, too happy, too free. It cannot be controlled; hence they let it fo (post for another day).

It is so difficult to be a man, but the added pressure from society to prove that masculinity adds a whole different dimension to that difficulty. Society has raised men to be narcissistic and self-destructive. They are not raised to choose the partners that uplift them; they are raised to choose the partners they can subdue. As a matter of fact, they are not raised to choose partners, they are raised to choose disciples and robotic elements who agree with everything they do, do everything they say, and say everything they want them to say at the time they want them to say it. With time, these men get bored and begin to feel like they are hibernating in life. In spite of that, they would not be caught dead with a woman who has an opinion, a vision or plans for her life. Of course, this spills over into other aspects of their lives. I have heard of men who refuse to rent houses owned by women, find it hard to take instructions from a female boss at work, and even disrespect women they barely know on the street because they have someone like her at home *sigh.

If you think society victimised only women, observe men and think again. As we liberate women, we must liberate men too! We are all victims of sick societal values that foster insecurity. XOXO