Why Are We PREPARING for Bad Marriages?

If there is one thing that exhausts me on social media, it is the volume of opinions that are rammed down people’s throats as facts. There are so many opinions on social media these days that the thought of even logging onto facebook exhausts me. Even Twitter, my favourite social media app is becoming toxic by the day. And while Instagram is not that bad, I fail to understand the need to post pictures of my life so people can like them to feed my self-esteem.

Drained as I may be though, I am not one to sit around and leave people to believe erroneous opinions simply because I don’t want to be bothered. Nope… the thought of sitting around while people go on and on about how their opinions are facts is a bother on its own. Forget being a bother; it is a crime – one that relationship social media is constantly engaging in.

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Source: MSU Today

For some time now, I have seen people post all kinds of advice about relationships. A few days ago, a lady on Twitter posted what she called a “survival kit” for young wives. She went to highlight that she had been married for 13 years, had three kids and had survived the damage she faced in her marriage. She went on to indicate that women who are preparing for marriage should be prepared to be “really really damaged” because that was a rite of passage of some sort. The post had many retweets, many nods, many agreements and a few outliers like myself who just did not agree.

You see, growing up, marriage was never packaged as a good thing to have, yet it was communicated as something that must be desired. Mothers and aunties often said in my language, “ile oko, ile eko” meaning a husband’s house is like a school. Now, if you attended the same schools in Nigeria that I did, you’d understand why this was certainly not something to look forward to. Marriage was packaged as a war front where your only chance of survival as a woman was to surrender yourself to some form of education and societally acceptable behaviour that would not in any way bring reproach to your husband. Some aunties went as far as highlighting that men could do whatever they wanted in marriage and it is your duty as a woman to build your home, lest you be regarded as foolish. Unfortunately, a bible verse was even used to further drive the message home:

“The wise woman builds her house; but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down” – Proverbs 14:1

And so I spent most of my childhood watching women scurry around to save their homes so they would not be regarded as foolish. Women stopped talking to their friends because their husbands did not want them to have friends. Women stopped working because their husbands did not like their line of work. Many women looked and still look the other way whenever their husbands chased women with shorter skirts and longer weaves…“At least he is not bringing them home”, they said. And as they built, some of their husbands tore down, leaving these women in the endless cycle of building and restoring. But that is not the worst of it. The worst thing is these women became mentors. They became the council of advisors for many women. They taught and still teach many young women to prepare for bad marriages.

“After one year, you will see changes in him”

“Once you hit ten years, the marriage becomes really tough” 

“The ups and downs get worse with time but you will be stronger because you will be used to him by then.”

Oh wow! Sign me up real quick for the forecasted suffering, will you?

I’m being sarcastic but many women do sign up. I remember seeing an advert for a book about getting rid of the other woman in your marriage and a young lady wrote a comment along the lines of “Where can I get a copy? I don’t have a man yet but I need to be prepared.”

Why are we constantly preparing for bad marriages? Why are we accepting the experiences of others as the status quo and hoping for their suffering to become our reality? Why are women romanticizing the idea of having a “survival kit” for a lifetime commitment like marriage? I have so many whys but you already get the gist. Women are constantly bending over backwards to reiterate the gloomy forecast of marriage, and do you know why?

Many women do not dare to demand better for themselves. I find in this social media age, that the more retweets an opinion has, the more likely it is to be regarded as fact. Many people out there believe that the reality of others is bound to be theirs so they buy into damaging opinions really quickly and begin to prepare for the gloomy days ahead. Many people believe that if X is giving marriage advice and has been married for 15 years, then that advice is the gospel. LOL. So let’s say I work as a cleaner at a bank for years, does that qualify me to give you advice on investments?

The fact that a person has been married for years does not mean they had a substantial relationship with their spouse. Heck, people are married for years and live like strangers in the same home. People are married for years in abusive relationships. People are married for years to other people who do not want to have sex with them or even touch their skin…. yet we tend to believe the duration is equal to positive experience? Nope, it is not. It will never be. And you need to start telling yourself that if you want to stop preparing for a bad marriage.

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Instead of listening to the survival kit gang, the ‘I’ve been married for xx years’ gang or the ‘your man will cheat or change’ or whatever kind of evil they’ve been stewing in for years gang, take a deep breath and ask yourself what you really want. Do you want the status quo of pain and unnecessary education? Or do you want a marriage where the ups and downs do not include cheating, abuse and alienation?

Dare to demand better. Life on its own is tough. Rather than prepare for a bad marriage, be kind to yourself and aim for a good one. If you prepare for a bad marriage, anyone who proposes marriage will do. But if you dare to demand better for yourself, you might just be the exception to the status quo. XOXO.

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Perhaps This Is Why Some Marriages Break Down

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Source: The Daily Beast

Maybe….just maybe… marriages break down for one simple reason no one is paying attention to.

I had an interesting epiphany as I conversed with a friend last night. It was not a Eureka! moment, nor did the word Voila! come to heart. It was a theory that formed as the conversation progressed, highlighting what I believe may be the reason marriages go from “I can’t get enough of you” to “It feels like we just live together”.

In this age of information, there are so many ideologies and notions about marriage that are passed on to people via all information platforms, especially social media. If you are an African woman, the list might be along the lines of:

  • Submit to your husband at all times
  • Learn the art of silence
  • Know his favourite meal and cook it all the time
  • Learn the best sex moves you can and impress him every time
  • Wash his clothes – it’s a sign of love (Just in case you have been looking for the recipe to keep a traditional man happy, this is it).

The list for men is pretty short

  • Provide (Yep that about sums it up. You want to be a man now, don’t you?)

But there are no guarantees that all of these things will be sufficient to keep your marriage afloat. As a matter of fact, many of these marriages which are built on efficiency still somehow find a way to fall apart. And of course, many of us these days are so disappointed in the institution, we are beginning to view it as a burden. But what if we start to do some things differently?

You see, in my many years of relating with people and being a ‘life coach’ for romantic relationships (I should get that business card printed now), I have learned one very important lesson.

It is not your efficiency in the fulfilment of your ‘expected obligations’ that keeps your partner happy, interested or committed.

If it was that, then so many marriages will be happy considering the Voltron mode many women assume once the ring touches the finger. It is not about how much you get done or how well you get everything done. It is not about how early you rise in the morning to ‘do something around the house’ or how dinner is ready at 6pm everyday. It is not about how you sort out the bills or get the children ready with little or no help. It is not about how skilled you are at ironing your husband’s shirts or how well you have mastered the art of handwashing his pocket squares.

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These are all activities that keep you busy and for some, come with the territory of marriage. But maybe, just maybe these activities keep you so busy you ignore the most important thing you should be doing.

You stop learning about your partner.

We all hear of the couples who drift apart and settle for divorce in the end. We see those who live like flatmates even though they try to present rosy romance on Instagram. We know them, we’ve heard their stories. Yet, for some reason my brain cannot grasp, we repeat their patterns, assuming erroneously that Sally at the office was the reason hubby left or Ben the gardener was the reason Mrs Simpson no longer found pleasure in her husband.

I’ll tell you my theory: Maybe Sally at the office was paying hubby so much attention and learning his new interests that he felt like his dreams were valid again. Perhaps, Ben the gardener noticed the new hairdo every week and the change of nail colour that made Mrs. Simpson feel visible again.

Perhaps, people are too busy trying to efficiently run their marriages like an operations managers runs a fleet of deliveries, that they forget to communicate with the person who makes the marriage.. (I mean, you can’t exactly be in a marriage with yourself now, can you?).

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Perhaps people are too tired from the 101% level efficiency they have to be on, that they forget to sit and crack jokes with their partners, listen to new music, try out food, and learn a new dance together. Perhaps people just get so involved with the symbol of the marriage, they forget the substance of it – a relationship – a ship where two people should relate. Sure, the ambiance in the ship is not always endearing but perhaps, there will be more days of love than days of heated words. But even heated words show some form of relationship, and they definitely beat days of silence- not silence from anger or pain, but silence because the fire has fizzled out and no one is willing to light another match.

I put it to you that this efficiency mode of running your marriage is not even for the survival of your marriage. Deep down, it’s for your ego. You view marriage as a cotton field and you want to be the best cotton picker who always exceeds the quota for the day. You want to say you earned it, and pride yourself as you tell people it’s hard work to be married and oh well, you just know how to keep it together. You focus so much on doing the work that you forget to relate with your partner.

So the point? You are more likely to keep your marriage alive if you don’t get up in the efficiency of maintaining the symbol more than you get caught up in discovering more about your partner and relating endearingly.

Advice: Know you can’t do everything. What technology can do, let it. What money can sort out, let it. What a third party can do, let them. Get excited about spending quality time with your partner and discovering more about them. Take every chance you get to peel another layer of partner and marvel at the pleasant surprise (well, not all the time) you will find. XOXO

“Don’t Be Left Behind!!!”

Those were the words that haunted me as I went to bed a couple of nights ago. After my usual routine of watching tv for at least a couple of hours a day, I struck up a spontaneous conversation with one of my acquaintances on BBM and the conversation steered in the direction of relationships. She asked why I wasn’t seeing anyone and I simply told her “I haven’t met the one. Many men out there are either cheats and liars or downright shady in the way they earn a living.” (I’m not planning to have a criminal record. I may be a president’s wife one day).

She went on to ask how many women get married every saturday if good men are so hard to find, I responded that some women are lucky, while others are willing to put up with liars and cheats for the glory of being called “Mrs”. Her response? “At least they are getting married”. I paused….. and carried on the conversation. Like I stated earlier, she is an acquaintance of mine and I really didn’t think I knew her well enough to have an in-depth discussion about that response. I went on to say many men are weirdos, they meet you today and propose to marry you next week. That sounds really sweet, but am I willing to marry someone I barely know? No! The divorce rate is high enough as it is, I have no plans to contribute to it. Worse still is the fact that some of these men get offended when you ask for sufficient time to know them and often accompany their proposals with a barrage of insults.

Her response? Times have changed! You can’t expect a man to chase you for years (I was thinking, if he’s chasing me for years, then he must have a really thick skull. I usually make it clear after a month or even a couple of weeks if I’m not interested. Give me a couple of months to know you, a few more months to date you before you spring marriage on me). I continued reading her messages… “You just have to be smart about it”, she said. “If a man proposes marriage after a couple of weeks, keep him interested while you get to know him. You might be prude and conservative but you need to move with the world! Don’t be left behind!!!”

Oh? I managed a LOL and announced my intention to drift off to la la land, switched off my phone and tried to sleep but I couldn’t! If a woman doesn’t jump at a marriage proposal from a man she barely knows, does that make her a prude? If a woman wants to get some time to know the man who is interested in her, does that make her conservative and boring? I need some clarification here, because I have been confused since I had that conversation. What i could infer from response 1,”At least they are getting married” is  that it doesn’t matter who the man is, or how much of a liar he is, you will be married and that is what is most important. LOL. Now I am really laughing, no wonder some men think the sun shines out of their ass. We are to blame! These days, when men joke, they usually take jabs at women, claiming  women will be over the moon if they were to propose. Marriage proposals are seen as favours by men with fragile egos and small minds. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against marriage. I love marriage, I want to be married but do I want to be married to just anyone? NO! Not every man who proposes marriage is good for you. You need to be able to know what you want in a man and be patient enough to wait for it.I am not saying you should be on the lookout for Mr. Perfect, there are some superficial characteristics that can be overlooked but you need to have a connection with the man you marry; intellectually, emotionally, financially and spiritually! Just because a man says “I want to marry you” doesn’t mean he’s good enough!

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About being a prude, oh well! better a prude than a vagina with warts and herpes, right? In an effort to not be described as prudish and old school, many women are moving with the world, jumping into bed to keep men interested, falling for a man that hints at marriage,getting dumped, abused and heartbroken every other month…how’s that working out for you ladies? I am not saying you should act like you’ve been living in a cave, I am not saying you should be boring or act offended when a guy makes jokes or comments about things you’d rather leave unsaid, but it doesn’t mean you should entertain every guy, simply to prove you are not a prude! Marriage looks nice and glamorous, especially on the wedding day, but believe me, forever is a long time! Avoid getting caught up in the rhythms of the world, just because you don’t want to be left behind.

Why That Fire-Spitting, Demon-Chasing Christian brother is just NOT RIGHT for you

Whenever christian women get the question “What kind of guy would you like?”, the first response is “he must be christian” and other qualities such as tall, handsome, financially well-to-do and bla bla follow. Of course, if you are asking someone who is scared to show she is interested in something ‘worldly’ like money, you get the “As long as he is Christian, I’m fine! I don’t care if he is a pauper or a hobo” Who are you kidding?

I have seen and heard from many women who found their christian man; they dressed the right way, spoke the right bible verses at the right time, acted the right way and of course looked in the right place- the church. Where else would you find a man that is able to spit fire when he speaks in tongues and have demons running at 400km/h? Many of these marriages are successful while some are camouflages- presented in a certain way to fool the public; it would be a big shame if people discovered what went on behind closed doors! Whatever the case, many women married to their dream Christian men try to spur their friends in the same direction. It may look attractive but is that choice really for you?

There are many reasons I would not date a fire-spitting brother and no it’s not because I have been carried away on a wave of worldly emotions or in love with ‘bad boys’. On the contrary, it’s because there are many qualities most christian brothers have that would simply make me jump off a cliff WILLINGLY.

  • He’s too judgemental: Many Christian men have taken the role of Christ upon themselves; they want to judge every friend you have, every move you make and everything you say. Don’t you dare mention you have a past, he’ll run out the door and share your past with his prayer group, in a bid to ‘pray for you’ while he keeps his distance from the Jezebel trying to come to Christ. I see many brothers raising their eyebrows at ladies that wear jewellery or have weaves or even pedicures. Like seriously? *No comment*

  • He’s spiritually arrogant: In case you don’t know, there are many christian men that are so full of themselves, they have enough ego for ten men! If you date such a man, be ready to be on the receiving end of his constant self-appraisal, self-admiration, self-centeredness and every other kind of self-word you can think of except self-control! Even when you feel the need to share something God has laid on your heart with him, he is quick to brush you aside and call your interpretation of the word -immature and myopic. As far as he is concerned, spirituality begins and ends with him in your home, you are just his disciple.
  • He wants you to change: Nothing is wrong with change if it’s in a good way and for the right reasons but what happens when your man decides you are not good enough to be known as his spouse simply because you have a different attitude towards life from his? He doesn’t want you to read ‘worldly’ books. Loving your Danielle Steel novel? Wait till you receive that lecture about how it adds nothing to you and you should be buried only in books that increase your spirituality. Do not get me wrong here; I love to read inspirational books written by pastors but do I want to read them everyday? Nope! Sometimes, I want to read a tragic love story or an exciting crime tale, something thrilling about a fictional family feud and so on. It doesn’t end with books- music, TV and everything else will be added on to it.
  • He HATES your sense of style: This is a very controversial topic amongst many christian men and women. Some men believe the christian woman must be absolutely modest in her appearance- the only piece of skin people can see is her fingers, she can’t wear jewellery, she MUST cover her hair always, she can’t paint her nails, she can’t wear makeup, some even go to the extent of criticising women that relax and condition their hair. Oh wow! Many times I find myself tongue-tied when I speak to such men but when my tongue loosens up a bit, I tell them to please search the convents for their spouses. I am not supporting women that walk around with half of their assets hanging out; in my opinion, that looks disgusting. But what is the issue with not being allowed to wear pants or makeup? Are baggy brown dresses, tangled frizzly hair and chappy skin the description of the Christian woman? Enlighten me.
  • He’s caught up in a divine world: I’d sure love to have a husband that hears from God but do I want him in a trance every second of the day? Erm…no thanks. Many marriages suffer because husbands are too spiritual to show their wives how much they care. They are constantly on the run trying to solve the problems of others while their families are at home in dire need of their attention and affection. When you bring up the need to spend time together, he’ll tell you you need to join him in the spiritual realm. Well, if that’s not what God has called you to do, you will not succeed in joining him. Instead you’ll end up frustrated, in tears and might be tempted to get attention elsewhere.

Some of you will read this post, wrinkle your noses and raise your eyebrows and probably pray for my dear ‘lost soul’ (thank you in advance) while some of you will understand where I am coming from. When I pray to God for my man, I always pray that he’d make my spouse my best friend and that we’d live together in harmony and serve God all the days of our lives. I don’t need him to quote a bible scripture everytime I make a mistake, I don’t need him to make me his disciple, I’m already a Child of God. I don’t need him to constantly remind me of how God has bestowed a certain talent upon him and I’d better listen or face eternal damnation. Hahaha! Being married to an arrogant self-centred man- christian or not- is already a preview of eternal damnation.

xoxo

Marriage: For childbearing or companionship?

This post is a question filled with many other questions. I have decided to write up on this because i do not fully understand the dynamics of this aspect of marriage and I hope my dear readers can give some input regarding this issue.
Is marriage for childbearing or companionship or both? You may have thought about this like I have; perhaps you have taken a stand like I have but that stand is not exactly built on a solid foundation….
When two people start courting and wedding plans start getting underway, it seems there is nothing on earth that can tear them apart. Fast forward, two or three years into the marriage and tensions start to build because there are no little ones turning the house upside down. In some marriages, the husbands become irritable and start to call their wives names that must not be heard from any man that stood before God to take vows to love his wife forever. Sometimes, family members get involved and compound the problem, making a woman’s home hell (In case you’re wondering why the woman is at the receiving end of all these, it’s because in Africa, it is the woman’s fault when there are no children). Life often becomes unbearable for many wives whose wombs have not been opened and many husbands in such situations believe they have the motivation to cheat, perhaps they can have a child out of wedlock with a fertile woman. *deep sigh*
What happened to the promise to to love and cherish one another come hail or storm? What happened to all that love that they both shared? What happened to all the “I’ll always be there for you” promises? How does a couple so madly in love with another go from loving each other to simply tolerating each other all because they don’t have children? Is marriage just a means to an end- to have children to carry your name? Or is it about finding someone you love and spending each day with that person, walking together in Christ, praying together and carrying each other’s burdens?
I took a stand; that marriage is for companionship. Many say I’m wrong and are quick to quote the “Be fruitful and multiply” bible verse. What happens if I’m not fruitful within the first few months or years? Does this mean I’m a failure? Does this mean I’m the wrong woman for my man? I get very uncomfortable when I see newlywed brides fidgeting about their inability to conceive right after the wedding. It makes me feel like they believe there is an expiry date on the magic they share with their husbands and they need babies to keep the marriage afloat. Am I the only one that thinks that is just sad? Did this man get on one knee simply because he loves you for who you are or because he sees you as a suitable incubator for childbearing?
I know a couple who were married for eight years! Eight years and not once did the wife get pregnant; she worried and cried and prayed. He worried and cried and prayed but not once did any bitterness ensue between them. Instead they went to God together in prayer and continued to live their lives like any happy couple should. This year, God surprised them with a baby boy. Eight years of perseverance, eight years of faith, eight years of tears but also eight years of togetherness, eight years of companionship and eight years of love.
I put my question out to you again, perhaps you can clarify this part of marriage that I am yet to comprehend; is marriage for companionship or childbearing? If I can’t have children, have I failed as a woman?

– See more at: http://www.covenantrelationships.org/2014/02/marriage-for-companionship-or.html#sthash.hEXhLIGp.dpuf

Marriage is not a chore!

A beautiful bride, a handsome groom, delightful wedding guests and perfect plans can make for a great mix on a woman’s wedding day. You can tell by how she gushes as you congratulate her on her big day, the tear drop that travels down her cheek when the vows are exchanged and the ear-to-ear grin that seems glued to her face.

Fast-forward, a year or two later, she’s sitting with a single friend, discussing relationships and marital bliss and her next words are “Marriage is hard work”. Jeez! The next time I hear that statement, I’ll throw a tantrum! Why do most people make marriage sound like a chore that robs them of the right to enjoy life as they would love to?

At some point, I started to wonder if married people uttered that statement in order to make themselves look ‘busy’ like “hey, we’re both employed at a Fortune 500 company but I’m married so I’m doing more work than you.” I wondered if it is a statement uttered by many to sort of elevate the married people in society, in an effort to make them seem more important, like they’re carrying the burden of the economic welfare of the world on their shoulders.

Luckily for me ( I count myself lucky), I met a few old couples at a church retreat and as we talked, I asked them a question that had plagued me for months “Is marriage hard work?” One of the gentle old ladies smiled at me and said “Yes it is…. If you marry the wrong person”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disputing the many trials and test of wills that come with marriage, but to call the whole institution ‘hard work’ like it’s a NECESSARY EVIL takes the joy out of it. The term ‘hard work’ implies that you have to work to love your home, you have to work to love your partner; basically everything you do is a laborious task that wears you out.

If you see your marriage as hard work, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes a chore you have to carry out/put up with, whether you like it or not. It becomes a bore, it becomes a robber of some sort, robbing you of a life you’d have loved to live. As time goes by, it starts to seem like manual labour.

According to one of the old couples I had the privilege of meeting, when couples fail to communicate effectively, marriage becomes work. It becomes a partnership filled with many unsaid words, many unexpressed feelings and that subsequently leaves room for intrusions that in turn lead to MORE WORK. One partner might go off gallivanting while the other is burdened with the task of making the marriage a success, and that of course is HARD WORK!

When you love someone, being with that person should not feel like work! Does it feel like hard work when you’re in God’s presence? I hope not! In God’s presence, you find love and it should be the same with your partner. There will definitely be bad days, trials and tribulations that may try to threaten the foundation of your union but believe that together, you can stand! Trials fade with excellent communication and love that’s real and true.

If something bothers you, talk to your partner about it but remember you can’t be the talker all the time. You must be a listener too when your partner wants to vent! Before you make a snide remark, think of how it would affect your partner and either ‘bite your tongue’ or say something more pleasant. Whatever you do or say, stop broadcasting how much hard work marriage is, and please stop scaring other people that want to get married!

Marriage is not hard work! Does it require a certain level of maturity before you should consider applying to be a spouse? That’s for sure! Does it require a foundation based on the word of God? Of course! Does it require you to sometimes go out of your way to make the other person happy? Sure, selfless-ness is one of the ways you can express your love!

Marriage requires a lot of things but it definitely should not be perceived as a laborious chore!

Xoxo

He who finds a wife…

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).

I have heard this bible verse so many times that I often find myself reciting it automatically to men that have an aversion to marriage. I recited it without really thinking there was any depth to it. I’ve heard it at almost every wedding I’ve attended, at church seminars for singles, at meetings organised to uplift women and help them build their self-esteem in their relationships… Yeah that bible verse has been around so that explains why it’s been stuck in my head even though I barely understood it.

I never gave it much thought until recently. Being on strict bed rest and unable to do anything remotely energy-consuming, I entertained myself with my thoughts, ‘regurgitating’ some conversations I had with friends. Slowly, a trend started to form in my mind as I remembered conversations I had with many of my married male friends. After the wedding, many of them had testimonies to share- better jobs, new houses, better cars, great financial stability etc.

This bible verse popped into my mind as I thought about those conversations and something became clear. Proverbs 18:22 wasn’t a verse by King Solomon simply to uplift women, it was a fact that this king who was richly blessed with wisdom had noticed during his time!

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God… In my interpretation, “he who marries God’s daughter (a woman after God’s heart, a woman who trusts God fully, a woman who is led by God in every step she takes) finds a good thing and obtains favour from God. Well, why wouldn’t he?

Imagine if you married the daughter of a businessman who owned various companies across the country? If you were living a good life before your wedding, you can be assured that you’ll live a much better life after the wedding because such a father wouldn’t want his daughter to lack anything. How much more our God that owns the heavens and the earth in all its entirety?

A male friend of mine that recently got married confided in me that his wedding cost 35,000 dollars- an amount that caused him to stagger when he first heard the budget. But somehow, things started falling into place. He had been struggling to get a job but after sealing the deal, a top position in a foreign country opened and he got it, he got a beautiful new car, he got more money than expected from his research group, he became blessed in every way…. I smiled as he testified to God’s goodness- he married God’s daughter.

You might be wondering….’How do I know she’s God’s daughter?’ Well, here are some things I know:

God’s daughter is beautiful inside and out, she has a heart of gold, she’s ready to give, ready to support, she’s thankful even when life offers sour lemons, she lives by God’s word, she praises Him even when she’s being tormented by the devil.

God’s daughter is not lazy; she doesn’t sit around and expect everything to be handed out to her! She gets up every morning with a plan to do something great with herself. God’s daughter is decent in her appearance, she is decent with her language, she doesn’t curse and swear at everyone on the street. God’s daughter is imperfect and she knows it but she accepts her imperfections and believes there’s a lot for God to carve into her.

God’s daughter is a pillar of strength to her man. She is ready to fight their relationship battles in prayer, she is loving, selfless and kind. No matter how successful she is, she is humble and submissive, though she’s assertive and strong when the need arises.

It is a proven fact! When you marry God’s daughter, he has no choice than to bless you richly. He doesn’t want the apple of his eye to lack anything so he will fill your heart and home with joy! This is not to say men are not precious to God. We all are, irrespective of gender but you have to agree with me, there must be something special about a woman that made King Solomon write that verse.

“He who finds a wife (not a selfish woman, not a woman driven only by the pleasures of this world, not a woman who’s too lazy to even have aspirations for her future, not a woman who’s only there for the good times, but a woman who understands the sanctity of marriage and walks with her hand in God’s hands all the time) finds a good thing and obtains favour from God!

Merry christmas in advance dear followers and visitors. May this season bring you all great happiness and blessings in all your endeavours.

Do share your thoughts about this verse! I would like to know what you think. God bless!